Don’t Try This At Home!!!
Home waxing kits should be made illegal. They are a cruel and unusual form of punishment.
We had arranged a bit of a barbie and swim for quite a few of our friends at our place. Food and drinks were all prepared, the lawn was mowed, the dog shit removed, the pool cleaned, everything seemed to be in order for a great day, then I realised I desperately needed a wax. It looked like I was giving birth to Guy Sebastian.
I had one working day before the barbie and during my lunch break went in search of a bikini wax. Now normally anybody will throw some hot wax on my groin and rip the hairs out by the roots for a couple of bucks, but for some reason on this particular day I could not get a wax for love nor money. I went home depressed and via the chemist for a home waxing kit. I opted for the pre-waxed strips (I’m way too clumsy to be attempting hot wax).
The next morning, the morning of the party, I carefully read the instructions and began by rubbing the pre-waxed strips between my hands to warm them up. I took off the backing and applied the strip to my groin going with the grain of the hair. So far, so good. I clenched my teeth and prepared myself… RIIIIIIIIIIPPPP…
Not ONE hair came out, but to my absolute delight my pubic hair was now matted with wax so I started pulling out the wax along with clumps of hair. I jumped into the shower and attempted to wash out the wax. I tried soap, no good. I tried shampoo, no good. I tried conditioner, no good, so I gave up on the washing, got out of the shower and proceeded to get dry. Much to my dismay, I was still sticky. I started searching around the bathroom for something that may get rid of the wax when I stumbled upon the nail polish remover. I put some on a cotton bud and carefully applied to the sticky area… apparently, not carefully enough. Nail polish remover got on my “bits” and let me tell you, it burned like an out of control bushfire (pardon the pun). Now, I probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind at this point and was desperate to ease the burning so I sat on the toilet and flushed, and flushed, and flushed. After a few flushes the pain started to subside. I grabbed the talcum powder, brushed it on the sticky area and went swimming in my boardshorts.
We had arranged a bit of a barbie and swim for quite a few of our friends at our place. Food and drinks were all prepared, the lawn was mowed, the dog shit removed, the pool cleaned, everything seemed to be in order for a great day, then I realised I desperately needed a wax. It looked like I was giving birth to Guy Sebastian.
I had one working day before the barbie and during my lunch break went in search of a bikini wax. Now normally anybody will throw some hot wax on my groin and rip the hairs out by the roots for a couple of bucks, but for some reason on this particular day I could not get a wax for love nor money. I went home depressed and via the chemist for a home waxing kit. I opted for the pre-waxed strips (I’m way too clumsy to be attempting hot wax).
The next morning, the morning of the party, I carefully read the instructions and began by rubbing the pre-waxed strips between my hands to warm them up. I took off the backing and applied the strip to my groin going with the grain of the hair. So far, so good. I clenched my teeth and prepared myself… RIIIIIIIIIIPPPP…
Not ONE hair came out, but to my absolute delight my pubic hair was now matted with wax so I started pulling out the wax along with clumps of hair. I jumped into the shower and attempted to wash out the wax. I tried soap, no good. I tried shampoo, no good. I tried conditioner, no good, so I gave up on the washing, got out of the shower and proceeded to get dry. Much to my dismay, I was still sticky. I started searching around the bathroom for something that may get rid of the wax when I stumbled upon the nail polish remover. I put some on a cotton bud and carefully applied to the sticky area… apparently, not carefully enough. Nail polish remover got on my “bits” and let me tell you, it burned like an out of control bushfire (pardon the pun). Now, I probably wasn’t in the best frame of mind at this point and was desperate to ease the burning so I sat on the toilet and flushed, and flushed, and flushed. After a few flushes the pain started to subside. I grabbed the talcum powder, brushed it on the sticky area and went swimming in my boardshorts.
posted by Shelley @ 8:02 am
2 Comments:
I taught you to use a silky mitt. But as usual you did't take any notice of me
Ever tried sanding off your pubic hair?
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