Scoobies Anonymous

Hi, my name is Shelley and I’m a scoobie-holic. It’s been 12 hours since my last knot.

Have you seen these things? Bonnie asked me to buy some for her on Friday and as she’d been a good girl and they were only a few bucks, I bought them. The poor kid hasn’t been able to get near them. They are like a thin plastic straw that you tie knots in and make things. I’m very good at making rope at the moment.

Like any good 12 step programme, there’s, well, 12 steps…

1. We admitted we were powerless over scoobie-ing - that our strings had become unmanageable.

2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could create better scoobie designs.

3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of this Power of our own understanding.

4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves and the internet for more scoobie patterns.

5. Admitted to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our key rings.

6. Were entirely ready to have these key rings of character redesigned.

7. Humbly asked God (of our understanding) to remove the calluses from our fingers.

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make scoobies for them all.

9. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure our fingers.

10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly unpicked it.

11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for our designs and the power to carry that out.

12. Having made an effort to practice these principles in all our affairs, we tried to carry this message to other scoobie-holics

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
Courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Amen.