Just pay for it???

The other day I handed Bonnie her library book and told her to put it into her school bag.

10 minutes later I was ready to leave the house and checked in Bonnie’s bag to make sure she had everything. Her library book was not in her bag.

Me: What did you do with your library book?
Bonnie: I can’t remember.
Me: It was only 10 minutes ago!
Bonnie: I can’t remember.
Me: Well, go and find it!

2 minutes later…

Bonnie: I can’t find it.
Me: Well, you have to find it. If you don’t find it, I have to pay to replace the book.

Bonnie and I searched for 5 frantic minutes…

Me: You’ve got to know where you put it!
Bonnie: I can’t remember.

I went off my tits…

Bonnie: screaming… Just pay for it!!!
Me: JUST PAY FOR IT? JUST PAY FOR IT? Do you know how long it takes me to earn $10???

Okay, its not long… but don’t tell her that!

Footy or Boxing?

Clyde was talking to Napoleon about playing football (rugby league) the other day when Napoleon stupidly told him that Uncle Racer started playing football when he was 4.

Clyde: I’m nearly 4. I want to play now!
Napoleon: What do you do when you’re on the field?
Clyde: Throw them to the ground and then PUNCH ‘em in the face!

I think it’ll be some time before young Clyde straps on a boot!

How to: Get a life by Bill Gates

I received this email yesterday... It is going to by Bonnie and Clyde's new bedtime story

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! To anyone with kids of any age, here's some advice.

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!

Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Old Timers

I normally blog about my kids, but really my folks do much sillier things.

The other day my mum walked into the bathroom and dad was rubbing some ointment into his forehead and holding tube of said ointment in his other hand…

Mum: What ARE you doing?
Dad: What? This is the ointment the Dr prescribed for (insert today’s problem here).
Mum: You poor fool! That’s my lip balm. How long have you been rubbing that into your forehead?
Dad: Oh… about a month!

If nothing else, at least now dad has a very kissable forehead!

Dumbfounded

Eating dinner last night, out of the blue Bonnie says “Girls have three holes in them…”

I thought, she can’t possibly be going where I think she is, but alas, she was.

“...one for wee, one for poo and one for babies!”

For the first time in my life, I was speechless!

G’day Mate…r

Bonnie has given Clyde a new nickname… “Mater”.

Me: Why are you calling Clyde, Mater?
Bonnie: Because he looks like Mater.
Me: He does not look like Mater.
Bonnie: Yes he does… look at his teeth.

Can you see the resemblance?

Not a lot...

Mum’s giving me a hard time because I haven’t blogged in a while but not a lot has happened in the past week or so.

Clyde managed to fall into the pool… but Napoleon was handy and there was no danger but it still gave me a fright.

Bonnie went on an excursion to Centrepoint Tower. She really didn’t want to go because she was worried she would fall out of the “tallest building in the southern hemisphere” but she did end up going and had a ball.