A Close Shave

Last night Jed comes running into the kitchen with blood pissing out of his lip screaming “I bleeding… I bleeding”. I cleaned the blood away with a tissue to find a couple of cuts on his lip.

Me: What did you put in your mouth?

Jed: I can’t know!

Me: You’re not in trouble. What did you put in your mouth?

Jed: I can’t know!

Grace: (screaming and running through the house)… DAAAAAAAAD…. JED’S BLEEDING!!!!!

Michael: (walks into the room) Give me a look.

Me: (removing tissue) He won’t tell me what he put in his mouth.

Michael: Have you been shaving?

Jed: Yes!

The little bugger managed to find a razor in the garbage bin and decided to shave his moustache-type area. He mangled his top lip and managed to remove quite a few layers of skin from under his nose. I don’t think he’ll be trying that again in a hurry.

You can't make me... I'm allergic!

Last night we had steak and salad for dinner. The conversation went something like this…

Me (to Jed): Eat your salad

Jed: I can’t. I’m allergic to salad.

Me: You are not. I’ll tell you what you’re allergic to… and you’re allergic to nothing (big gulp of water)

Grace: Yes he is! He’s allergic to work!

Needless to say, water exited my nose at a rate of knots and ruined everyone’s dinner! She must have heard someone say that in the past!

No, I didn't die...

Okay, so it’s been some time since I’ve blogged. I hope my loyal reader hasn’t missed me too much.

We had a great Christmas and Santa was very generous to all. Grace did enquire as to why Santa had exactly the same wrapping paper as us… so it was explained that Santa had run out of wrapping paper and had to wrap the pressies when he got to our place. This seemed to placate her.

I had four weeks off work to spend with the kids and lo and behold… I found out I actually like my children! Who’d have thought it? We didn’t get up to too much over the holidays but we did see Happy Feet, went to Featherdale Wildlife Park, ten pin bowling and Mum took me and the kids to see a musical theatre production of Peter Pan (which was just awesome) while Dad and Michael played a round of golf (and Michael ended up swimming in the lake in search of his ball). We also spent a couple of days with Michael’s family at Foster.

Grace lost another tooth and our stupid tooth fairy fucked up the transaction again (paid the cash and forgot to take the tooth… so another visit the following night was warranted). I think I’m going to have to write to the Head Tooth Fairy and complain about the quality of work in our area.

Other than that… pretty quiet on the home front.